In the middle

I haven't found the time for blogging, but I've missed it. I miss that little ounce of creativity, no matter how tiny it is. That brief vision of the whole picture, above the exhausting and life-sucking hamster wheel. 

I know what I see on blogs isn't the full picture. I know I have no idea how a person is and if I will like them until I meet them in person. I certainly don't put my deep, dark secrets or bad parts of life on my blog. But I think that's okay. A blog isn't the place for my deep, dark secrets anyway... a confessor and spiritual director is. A spouse is. Some friends are. 

I've been trying to get errands taken care of, do projects and get preparation out of the way to start living real life and have a rhythm. I'm realizing this is a mistake. I will always be behind on errands, emails, organization, grocery shopping, etc. This is super frustrating for me. I really loved a quote I saw on Jennifer Fulwiler's instagram here: 

"’We all live in the messy middle.’

Meaning this: We tend to think that OUR lives are busy and crazy and full of yearnings that haven’t yet been fulfilled, but that other women – especially those ‘successful’ women – have their lives nailed down. They’ve achieved their goals and now experience perfect fulfillment. They’re right where they need to be, not wandering in the middle like us.

Tsh reminded us today that is not true. She’s interviewed tons of women who have amazing lives, and they al report that they also feel overwhelmed or confused or not sure about the next step sometimes.

Like the rest of us, they live in the messy middle too."