Thankful

A year ago, we celebrated thanksgiving with our american friends and I was in a wheelchair and couldn't stand up at all. 

Last night, they flew in (we hadn't seen each other in a year!) and I'm walking. Look at you! they said. My heart was filled with gratitude last year for having more years on this earth with such an amazing husband, kids, friends and family to shower me with love. And this year, believe it or not, my heart is FULLER.

Holywins

 

Happy All Saints Day! 

Love, 

St Zelie and St Louis Martin (me & Daniel), their daughter St Therese of Lisieux (Lettie), St Lucy with eyeballs on platter (Adelaide), St George and the dragon (Davy and Tommy), OL Guadalupe and St Juan Diego (Rosie and Dimas, who wouldn't wear his sombrero and insisted on  sword!). 

Davy said, "you guys are the only parents dressed up." To which I answered, "because we're the coolest parents!". It is so nice to have things we enjoy so much together, especially counter cultural things like this one. We have been dressing up for many years now and last year I was sad because I was incapable of doing anything to mark the day with. Today totally made up for it. 

Feliz dia de todos os santos!

Com amizade, 

Stos Zelie e Louis Martin (eu e Daniel), a sua filha Sta Teresinha de Lisieux (Leticia), St Luzia com olhos num prato (Adelaide), S Jorge e dragão (David e Tomé), NS Guadalupe e Juan Diego (Rosinha e Dimas que queria espada em vez de chapéu mexicano)

O David disse, "vocês são os únicos pais mascarados!" Ao que respondi, "porque somos os mais fixes." É tão bom termos coisas que gostamos de fazer juntos, especialmente quando toca às contra cultura. Temos nos vestido de santos há muitos anos e fiquei triste no ano passado por não poder marcar o dia. Hoje compensou em grande. 

Back to school feast

We have been doing a back to school feast à la nieniedialogues.com since 2018. You can look up past pictures on here. The idea is to have a special meal, in our case dessert, together and wear crowns. I added the German tradition of "schultutes", cones filled with school supplies, and a list of our favorite things. 

This year, it almost didn't happen. But it did! A few weeks late, we forgot the crowns, the feast was a chocolate bar each (so... a tummy ache) and the schultute had only a tiny present each. 

It's nice to have their pictures each year to register how much they change! Even their favorite colors change (their poster board is their favorite color.) 

I'm barely able to keep up any of the traditions we've started, but the ones we repeat they love. 

Temos estado a fazer um "banquete" quando começa o ano lectivo desde 2018. Podem procurar fotos antigas aqui. A ideia é ter uma refeição especial, no nosso caso uma sobremesa, juntos e usar coroas. Acrescentei a tradição alemã de "schultutes", conos cheios de materiais escolares, e uma lista das nossas coisas preferidas. 

Este ano, quase não aconteceu. Mas aconteceu! Algumas semanas tarde, esquecemo-nos das coroas, o banquete foi uma barra de chocolate cada um (portanto, uma dor de barriga) e o schultute tinha só uma mini prenda para cada um.

É bom ter as fotos deles cada ano para registar quando mudam. Ate as suas cores preferidas mudam (a cartolina é a cor preferida de cada um). 

Quase não consigo manter tradições que temos começado, mas quando repetimos eles gostam muito. 

Back to School Sunday Tea

We had a "back-to-school Sunday tea" for the third year in a row and that is SOMETHING. It was exciting for everyone, except for Rosie, who woke up when it was almost finished. She's not going to school anyway, except walking and talking and being cute school. ;) 

It's funny because everyone is switching from school to homeschool and we have decided not to homeschool and Adelaide is going to first grade this year. (this was decided before Covid, by the way)

I got this idea for a "back-to-school feast" from the one and only Nie Nie (nieniedialogues.com). We do a much simpler version which included an attempt at Smores Brownies today (no one complained, but I will just make regular brownies next time) and cold tea. We have crowns a la Nie Nie, but that's about it. 

I also include a "team building" challenge, inspired by Rosa Pich, in which the others suggest a habit for each member of the family to work on. For example, we suggested Davy make his bed in the morning and I pracice piano at night. I printed out a little chart where each person draws a symbol in a box and tries to keep it up for 50 days. 

Here they are with their german "schultutes". (I got this idea from Jessica at Shower of Roses). Cone-shaped present filled with school supplies. Were they disappointed all I was able to get them was a snickers bar and a rosary each? Poor kids, not at all! A huge, empty schultute! 

I was able to print out these same "favorites chart" pictures from the last two years! It was fun to look at them. And below are the "Smore brownies" which probably will not be on the repeat menu. 

Now that Adelaide is going to first grade, it is even more important to me to maintain and create family culture, traditions, identity and quality time. She is so excited about her first day. Davy and I will sure miss her. 

Isolation Opportunity for Creating a Richer Family Culture Idea #14: Sunday pizza making

We have made Sunday our official pizza-making day, mostly because it is easy and fun. I roll out four store-bought crusts (Tommy shares from Adelaide and Davy's). I make the sauce by pouring tomato puree in a bowl and mixing with salt and pepper, honey, a dash of cayenne, dried orégano, dried parsley and dried basil. The kids like pepperoni, olives, mushrooms and Davy likes corn. For us, I have discovered the best is to roast veggies in the oven before hand. Precooking veggies for pizza is essential. If I have a tomato, an onion and a zucchini, that is enough. Toss them with olive oil in a pyrex dish and roast in oven until sizzling. Use them as toppings with cheddar or feta cheese for an extra special taste. 

The other day I saw a pizza crust video tutorial by Rosie Hill on her Instastory here and when our store-bought dough runs out I might try it. 

Master list here: https://martajuliemaria.blogspot.com/p/isolation-reflections-and-ideas.html?m=1

Isolation Opportunity for Creating a Richer Family Culture Idea #9: Sunday poetry teatime

We started irregularly having poetry teatimes on Sundays about a year and a half ago. I still remember the first time our oldest was four and Davy was two and my husband did not think it was a good idea: you're going to serve a hot beverage in a breakable teacup, the nicest ones we have? But one poetry teatime later and he was convinced. They were so good. (For about ten minutes of course) They were so careful with the delicate china. They felt so important. 

I got the idea from a mix of three sources: a post from Auntie Leila about a mother whose kids were grown up and what she thought had been most worthwhile in their education was memorizing a poem a week and reciting it for the family once a week, Sally Clarkson describing their family tradition of "Sunday tea" where they reserve time on Sunday afternoon to be together just parents and children without other social engagements, and finally all the homeschooling Instagrams with poetry teatimes. 

The idea is to bake something nice (today was mocha walnut torte from Jeanne Lemlin's cookbook "Simply Satisfying") or just open a bag of store bought cookies. Serve tea or hot chocolate in the winter in fancy cups. Each family member gets up, recites a poem and takes a bow. We pick one to memorize for the next week. 

This is something we have been trying to be more consistent about during this time. 

Master list here: https://martajuliemaria.blogspot.com/p/isolation-reflections-and-ideas.html?m=1

Isolation Opportunity for Creating a Richer Family Culture Idea #1: Pancakes

Every Sunday we try to make pancakes. It doesn't happen every Sunday, or even close, but this new isolation makes me want to stick to it because everyone appreciates it so much.

Making something a weekly makes it an instant family tradition.

These ones are a little yellower than usual because I didn't have enough flour so I added corn flour instead. Even more in theme with isolation.

Here is our recipe:

2 1/4 cups flour
1/4 cup sugar
2 1/4 tsp baking powder
3/4 tsp salt
3 eggs, whites and yolks separate
2 1/4 cups room temperature milk
4 tblps semi-melted butter

Mix dry ingredientes. Add egg yolks, milk and butter and mix with electric mixer. Beat egg whites separately until fluffy. Gently fold in.

Grease a frying pan with oil and heat up on medium heat. Now is the part where practice makes perfect. It should be hot enough to create bubbles and make the bottom light brown (flip it then) but not to hot to make it dark Brown and burnt on the bottom.

Whip some cream separately (it helps to chill package of cream and bowl you're going to beat it in in the fridge first). Serve with cream and honey if you are in Portugal and maple syrup if you are lucky enough to be in North America. ;)

Master list here: https://martajuliemaria.blogspot.com/p/isolation-reflections-and-ideas.html?m=1

Long Live Laura Ingalls Wilder!

Sometime last year, during the spring or summer, Adelaide pulled a Laura Ingalls Wilder book off the shelf and started examining the pictures. "Will you read this to me?" she asked casually. I tried to answer just as casually: sure. It's only MY FAVORITE BOOK IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD I HOPE YOU LIKE IT. 

I'm not sure if she actually loves them just as much as I do, or if she is just listening to please me (then she's a good actress), but what is true is that we have read all five books in this picture (we are now on #6 The Long Winter). We both cried when their dog Jack died. Below is a picture of them "playing Laura Ingalls Wilder" and making a wagon with their toys. 

I realized sometime in the middle of that first month when Rosie was born that the most pleasurable moments of my day were reading LIW with Adelaide. The tiredness, gloominess, difficulties made the days kind of run into each other. But reading LIW with Adelaide brought real pleasure and enjoyment to THE BOTH OF US. Crazy as it seems, I have never really bonded over anything with my child until now. Sure, I've been to a million activities and playgroups and friends' houses with her. I've organized a million crafts and baked things together, etc etc. But real bonding and real enjoyment... MUTUAL (not just her) enjoyment... over a "wholesome recreational activity" as the mormons call it? Never until now. 

Now I understand what Sarah McKenzie means over at Read Aloud Revival about "creating a family culture through books". 

Long live Laura Ingalls Wilder!

Building family culture

Spreading pesto for the quiches. Reading about bugs. 

About a few months ago and more intensely every day, Addie and Davy play together. Fight more also. But play pretend and talk and look at books together. It's amazing. I wasn't expecting it. 

I had read about "building a family culture" in blogs and books before, but only now am I starting to see what it looks like. And it depends so much on me it's scary. The little family traditions I try to implement as simple as having dinner in the living room. A few times Adelaide has whined when I try to have dinner earlier without daddy, "I want it in the living room with daddy!" And I am a bit surprised by how much she enjoys such a simple thing. The songs I pick for us to listen to, the toys people buy for us, those meals I make again and again... this is our family culture. There is something that is being created out of nothing. 

My husband and I went to a conference where they quoted someone who said man and wife are two people who see something (a couple, a marriage) where there is nothing. It was beautiful and true. And from this nothing, something more and more keeps coming. A community of persons. A heritage. I pray for a legacy... like Sally Clarkson says. And it all starts with these litte tiny things we do together. 

Back to school feast

I have been inspired by NieNie's back to school feast for years now and this year we finally got around to doing it… barely! I bought crowns for the girls and made stapled crowns for the boys, like NieNie. We had fondue for dinner, which was actually Addie's idea when she found a closed fondue set I've had for years. We had it on the feast of the Most Holy Name of the Blessed Virgin Mary and chose one of her titles from the litany instead of the "family theme" We've actually been asking for Mary, Seat of Wisdom's intercession for a while now when we agonize over/ponder WHAT THE HECK TO DO about our kids' education. So it was fitting. 

We did those fun interviews and I have them "schultutes", which are school supplies wrapped up in a tube shape… a german tradition methinks. It was basically socks and pencils and they were sooooooo happy. Plus, they went to bed late and ate gummy bears. Practically the best day of their little lives. I hope we will be able to repeat it again next year and compare our pictures! 

Habits and meals

In the middle of serious post-partum blues, when nothing seemed to give me rest or joy, I instituted a new family ritual: a pre-dinner dance party. At first it was a little forced and awkward. It didn't give me joy and I was still sad. But now, it has taken shape and we are able to occasionally have fun together all goofing off to a song or two. 

I have been obsessively going over priorities in my mind since our Tommy was born. What is really worth doing in a day? So many possibilies. So little time. I came to the conclusion: habits and meals. Habits as in the little pieces of work that you put into something everyday that develop into a skill or something you learned. For me, it's piano, reading and knitting I'd like to work on a little each day. Do I? No. But I'd like to.

It's easier to see in kids and it's easier to work on their habits. Helping them eat fruit or brush their teeth everyday. Read stories and see them memorize the stories.

Also, meals. The Eucharist, of course. I loved this Bishop Barron podcast on that. And a meal together as a family each day. Those are things that we also need to do a little of each day. And it builds up to something beautiful we can't always see. 

Praising, reverencing, serving

Watching sleeping beauty, when my mom was still here. And play dough. 

One of the themes I really liked in the book He Leadeth Me was the purpose of our lives here. The author was a Jesuit priest, and he quoted the first principle of the Spiritual Exercises several times throughout the book: 

"Man is created to praise, reverence, and serve God our Lord, and by this means to save his soul.

And the other things on the face of the earth are created for man and that they may help him in prosecuting the end for which he is created.

From this it follows that man is to use them as much as they help him on to his end, and ought to rid himself of them so far as they hinder him as to it."

Even in the most extreme conditions, such as prison or slave labor camps like the author, we are able to praise, reverence and serve the Lord. We are not here on this earth to "be happy" or be comfortable. Look around at the conditions of life on this earth and you'll easily see that's impossible. At least on a physical level and all the time. Instead, we all have deep yearnings and desires for things that are not of this world. 

This quote and the book in general led me to a thought experiment about what is really important for our family and for parenting. And it is freeing. If we are here just to praise, reverence and serve the Lord... we don't have to care about what others think. About fitting in with society. About if our kids will be weird. We just have to love. *Just* as in... that "one thing" the subheading of this blog says. But of course, that is a lifelong lesson. 

Preschool

I am always feeling like I should be doing more for Addie, so I have been happy to reinstitute a little bit of "preschool" in most of our mornings. I have this How to Draw Dinosaurs book from Usborne that I thought would be for when she's older, but she really likes doing it with help. We do a page a day and sometimes another wipe-clean book of draw on the line and she's thrilled. It really helps me to have a physical book to follow. I can't deal with random ideas on pinterest that I never get to.

We also started hiking again. I still want to go Sundays, but it always seems like we have someone to visit or something to do on Sundays. So I decided we'll go on our own on Fridays too and invite our neighbors. It started out lovely (sarcasm) with Addie running away in the woods, poo in her underwear and me changing it with Davy in the baby carrier. :) :) :) But then our neighbors got there and it was really fun and really worth it. The park seems boring when you can have the forest.

I love that smile...

As NieNie is always talking about, I too like to build up family traditions that bring us together and make us happy. NieNie does things like watch Disney's Legend of Sleepy Hollow and eat pumpkin soup every October 1st with her husband and kids. Or make special birthday pancakes and party hats every time it's someone's birthday.

We are a very "young" family, but I'm always trying to build up traditions of our own. I haven't been successful with family night yet (there will be future attempts!), but my husband and I look forward to our Saturday date night all week. Lately we've just been renting movies at home, but it's still fun.

Making pancakes Sunday morning has also become routine. Not only do we all love eating them, and it's something warm and comforting, but that also means we don't have to buy bread at the bakery on Sundays (and give other people work when it should be their day of rest, too). Last Sunday we started our Sunday "hikes" up again. Even if it's just half an hour, seeing all the green trees and hearing the birds chirp is really, really good for the soul. Having these little moments of pleasure and fun, especially together, helps to endure the harder things we're called to do, and not feel drowned out by all the human misery we are called to shoulder.

Pancakes on Sunday



I have been motivated to make pancakes every Sunday morning, just like Almanzo's mother. Addie loves them and makes a huge mess trying to mix the flour and taste the batter. She sometimes cries out for pancakes the next day at breakfast... but once a week is enough for me.



 

"When Almanzo trudged into the kitchen next morning with two brimming milk-pails, Mother was making stacked pancakes because this was Sunday.

The big blue platter on the stove's hearth was full of plump sausage cakes; Eliza Jane was cutting apple pies and Alice was dishing up the oatmeal, as usual. But the little blue platter stood hot on the back of the stove, and ten stacks of pancakes rose in tall towers on it.

Ten pancakes cooked on the smoking griddle, and as fast as they were done Mother added another cake to each stack and buttered it lavishly and covered it with maple sugar. Butter and sugar melted together and soaked the fluffy pancakes and dripped all down their crisp edges.

That was stacked pancakes. Almanzo liked them better than any other kind of pancakes. Mother kept on frying them till the others had eaten their oatmeal. She could never make too many stacked pancakes. They all ate pile after pile of them, and Almanzo was still eating when Mother pushed back her chair and said:

'Mercy on us! Eight o'clock! I must fly!'"

 

 - From the "Sunday" chapter in Laura Ingalls Wilder's Farmer Boy

A vegetarian makes a turkey

I've been going too fast lately... too fast to record and reflect on what's happening. But it has been good. Our Thanksgiving week was very action-packed. We went to hardrock with my family, which was a surprisingly nice place to take kids.

Then we hosted a turkey dinner on Friday for some Portuguese friends. I had this dream of making turkey, even though I don't eat it... and it turned out good! It was easier to make than I was expecting. And I got to read a book about Thanksgiving to our guests and they even wore paper pilgrim hats we made. It was a fabulous tradition I hope to repeat every year.

Here are pics of us at Hardrock, my turkey "sleeping" and Addie enjoying some leftover turkey the next day.