Mom, I know how you feel

Yesterday I went to a (very nearby!) playground with the five oldest. Baby Lettie went to our kind neighbors' house for dinner. How very grown up of her, yes! It was definitely the first time I went out by myself with them. It went surprisingly well! I walk as slow as a turtle, but they wait for me. Dimas is much more civilized than I expected. He waits at crosswalks and then crosses next to or behind me (that's our rule). In the middle of the crosswalk, he waved at the car that was waiting and made me laugh out loud. He is completely crazy and destructive, but also funny. 

Tommy is very insecure on his rollerblades and fell (without hurting himself) a few times. It wrecked me when he said, "Mom, now I know how you feel. I am unstable and have to hold on to things so I don't fall." They are soooo sensitive of my situation. They watch and hear eeeeverything. They are so pure. 

We have a really tough week ahead of us! If you can, pray for two difficult changes we might have soon. 

Ontem fui a um parque (pertíssimo!) com os cinco mais velhos. Bebé Leticia saiu para jantar em casa dos nossos generosos vizinhos. Muito crescida, sim senhor! Foi a primeira vez que saí sozinha com eles. Correu surpreendentemente bem! Ando lentamente como uma tartaruga, mas eles esperam por mim. Dimas é muito mais civilizado do que esperava. Ele espera nas passadeiras e atravessa ao lado ou atrás de mim (a nossa regra). No meio da passadeira, ele acenou ao carro que esperava e fez-me rir. Ele é completamente louco e destrutivo, mas também muito engraçado. 

O Tomé ainda está muito inseguro de patins e caiu (sem se magoar) algumas vezes. Fiquei enternecida quando ele disse, "Mãe, agora sei como te sentes. Estou tão instável e tenho que me agarrar às coisas para não cair." Eles são tãaaaaoo sensíveis quanto à minha situação. Eles vêem e ouvem tuuuuudo. São tão puros. 

Temos uma semana terrível à nossa frente. Se puderem, rezem por duas mudanças difíceis que temos em breve. 

Make a life, not a living

 

Make a Life, Not a Living
by Brett Kissel

This '94 Ford gets me A to B

This old tin roof ain't never had a leak

Who needs a swimmin' pool when you got a creek?

Yeah, this guy's got everything he'll ever need

I don't need six figures, my bank account bigger

Pile of cash don't make me richer (no)

Give me a wrap around porch swing swingin'

Five-acre pond with a night crawler sinkin'

Girl in my hand, the other one drinkin' that Bud Light

Yeah, that's my kinda money

I'm good with what the good Lord's givin'

Dirt under my boots and the air I'm breathin'

Lose every penny, I'd still be winnin'

I'm tryna make a life, not a livin'

Whoa-oh-oh, whoa-oh-oh

Tryna make a life, not a livin'

Whoa-oh-oh, whoa-oh-oh

No, you can't take nothing with you when you go

The time that you got's about as good as gold

Got a girl that I love that I get to hold

Thank God for what I got, not what I don't

I don't need six figures, my bank account bigger

Pile of cash don't make me richer, no

Exercise for busy moms

So, as everyone has probably found out from personal experience, you won't lose weight/get toned if you just watch what you eat. With each post-partum (ouch), it has been harder for me to "get back to normal" and each time I have started earlier. Not only do I try to watch what I eat, but I use Blogilates exercise videos or printouts and literally just five to ten minutes is ENOUGH. (Look up "Blogilates" on Youtube... they are all free, five minutes, no materials required)

I first found Blogilates printouts after Adelaide was born. After Rosie was born, I started doing the "100 challenge" videos, one a day. I really like putting checkmarks on things and trying to complete something. It's motivating. But seriously, a video a day. 5-10 minutes. And usually not even everyday. 

Right now I am aiming for 5-10 minutes Monday-Friday and I am using these printouts above. I am on day 5 and already feel so much progress. I have decided to do it right when my daughter gets home from school. I just pull out an exercise mat and do it in the living room, in front of the kids. Sometimes they try to climb on me and I shake off two or three. ;) I think it's a good example for them to see me doing things that are important for me, so I've decided to do it at the prime time of the day. 

I am sharing because this is so important for me and getting exercise in your life is life-changing, so maybe it might prove useful for someone out in internet-world. What do you think? 

Coronavirus Crisis Wrap-up and Takeaways

I didn't expect this crisis to affect me in the many ways I've noticed and even more that I haven't noticed. I thought it was just for "those other people who needed to change their lives". But alas, God has to teach me humility again and again. I never seem to get it. 

Here are some things I am taking away from this crisis:

1. Recipes:
The www.the-girl-who-ate-everything.com site. I love the one pan cheesy broccoli rice, scalloped potatoes, lasagna, Reese's peanut butter bars and other recipes from this site. I also bought a wok (see pic above... By the way Davy is saying ewww ;)). I bought it used (as I buy everything now... See point number two) and mainly to make the fried rice on Jessa Seewald's YouTube site. I also liked watching her videos. 

2. Savings
We finally got an opportunity to take steps toward building up a small savings. Only with isolation were we able to see that some of the kids' activities were unnecessary. 

3. Exercise 5x a week + water
My main discovery this quarantine, other than the Jessa Seewald channel, were the Bates sisters. Especially Erin Chad Paine, Carlin Stewart, Alyssa Webster and Josie Balka. Alyssa Webster has a video called "Q&A" on her YouTube channel where she answers "how do you stay so fit?" After being super humble and saying everyone is different etc, she casually remarks "oh and I drink a ton of water and exercise 5 days a week." AS IF IT WERE NO BIG DEAL. That inspired me so much. I would like to be able to casually say "oh and I exercise 5 days a week." By the way. No biggie. I have also made am effort to drink more water. 

4. Bike riding
So we cut out some activities but started a wonderful new one: I am able to fit their bikes in the car, drive to a bike path five minutes away, ride bikes to a grassy place with benches, rest a little, then ride back. They ride, by the way, I walk with Rosie in a ring sling. It works out great. I hope to continue this at least once a week even next school year. 

5. Hair & makeup
Again, the Bates sisters helped me on this. Especially Alyssa Webster and Carlin Stewart's hair tutorials. Hair and makeup are not just superfluous and unnecessary things for dumb women. Good hygiene and taking care of your appearance (no one can do it for you) are not only signs of mental health, but an act of service to others. We like seeing the other person looking good and happy. We were all created uniquely and beautifully by God and to be as beautiful as we can is to bring glory to Him. I especially like how the Bates sisters pair hair/makeup/fashion with modesty. 

There were more failed projects than successful ones for me this quarantine. I tried making a sourdough starter about five times unsuccessfully. I cut my husband's and kids' hair and it was really frustrating. But these are five takeaways for me. 

What are yours?



Master list here: https://martajuliemaria.blogspot.com/p/isolation-reflections-and-ideas.html?m=1

Reflections on the coronavirus crisis pt 6: Life is a crisis

My husband has said many times during these past months: let's not decide or do this or that because we're in the middle of a crisis. To which I answer: when are we not in a crisis? Life is a crisis. 

I know it's more seasons of calm and crisis, waves that come and go... But you can never quite get your footing before another one comes. That's built into life. It's supposed to change us, open us up, transform us. 

I've learned during these months to rest a little each day during established prayer times, exercise, creativity and bonding with my husband and kids. And not wait for "that calm time" that will supposedly come during vacation or after a crisis. It's not gonna happen. 

"He continued: “Go, eat rich foods and drink sweet drinks, and allot portions to those who had nothing prepared; for today is holy to our Lord. Do not be saddened this day, for rejoicing in the LORD is your strength!” (Nehemiah 8:10)

Master list here: https://martajuliemaria.blogspot.com/p/isolation-reflections-and-ideas.html?m=1

Isolation Opportunity for Creating a Richer Family Culture Idea #8: Work on chores

I am still figuring out this "getting kids to do chores thing" and I don't have lots of answers, but I know now is a good time to devote extra time to it. 

From what I've learned from Charlotte Mason and Maria Montessori, I try not to use bribes or threats (external motivation) but by repetition 9f the same thing at the same time everyday I hope a habit will form. 

This is kind of (KIND OF) working for morning and bedtime routines, but I haven't picked a time for toy cleanup or had success with it. 

As for other things (ironing, as pictured, unloading dishwasher, helping with cooking), they do it when it's new and they are interested, but not consistently.

Any tips or successes on your part?

Master list here: https://martajuliemaria.blogspot.com/p/isolation-reflections-and-ideas.html?m=1

Still blogging, still dreaming

I have been wasting my time and yours enriching the world with my blog posts for nine years. Wow, that's a long time to keep going at something and still not have fame or money for it. (just kidding… of course...I think...)

I like to reflect on how different my life is now than it was then. At the time, it was a turning point in my life. I had just moved to a little house closer to my job where I didn't take two hours to get to my job and I started dedicating more time to exercise, hosting friends for meals, crafts, reading and general creativity and friendship. I was in the middle of quitting my steady, well-paying 9-5 job to try fundraising my own salary for a ministry. I was dating my current husband and wondering if he would ever propose. 

Now I am pretty much drowning in diapers, meal-planning, dishes and laundry. 

However, I also like to reflect on how shockingly similar I am, my dreams are and my motivation for blogging is, even though my state in life and lifestyle is dramatically different. 

The first blog I read and what got me started was NieNie's because I saw her on Oprah. She's still my favorite blogger ever and she still inspires me for the same reasons: her faith as #1, her strong community of real (not online) people, her family traditions, her crafts and decorations, her meals, her whimsical parties, her naturalness in raising kids. 

I started this blog with a post called simple life and it's still what I want. I still like country music the most. I still like sharing what books I read and seeing others' book recommendations. I still like writing articles and connecting with other like-minded people online. I still like taking pictures of my culinary successes, decorating successes and party/holiday successes. I am still trying to celebrate the liturgical year. I am still trying to value relationships and friendships and meals together over a factory-style work. I still love Theology of the Body and all the people I met through it. 

How about you? How are you the same over the past 9 years?

Wild and free... and kind and responsive

I've been reading the farmhouseschoolhouse.com blog recently and her posts about nature walks (and all posts in general! and her house!) have been making me feel pretty terrible. So we went on an impromptu, quick (hour-long) hike last week. And even though it was short, and even though it was just us, it was worth it.

I also subscribe to her Charlotte Mason-classical education mixed philosophy and would love my kids to be more "fed" in terms of brain and to be outdoors a lot more. I feel incredible mommy guilt most of the time and try to NOT PAY ATTENTION TO IT and take it to prayer and all that, but I especially feel mommy guilt when I think about the amount of time they spend cooped up in an apartment, are bored while I cook or clean, have to tag along for grocery store or other errands, or even worse (gasp!) have to stay with babysitters while I take care of my spiritual life or other such important things. 

But then there are those small moments that are so incredibly beautiful and that I know are only possible with the long moments of boredom, hard work or prioritizing. Because life can't be fun 24 hours a day, or happy 24 hours a day, or entertaining 24 hours a day. It's an uphill battle with great views. And having my kids at home fits in with what I want for them: to have a strong bond and be responsive to us parents, to learn virtues like kindness in the family environment, to not be spoiled, to work at home, to do wholesome recreational activities (like reading a book, playing a game, playing an instrument) at home. And most importantly love. They have a mother and father who really, really love them and that is the most important. 

It's about who I am, not what I do

When I get anxious and start to worry about our life, it's usually about Addie. Am I doing enough for her? Is she well-behaved enough? Am I too strict or too patient? Am I dedicating enough time to her or am I too busy cooking, cleaning and changing her brother's diapers (way too many poopy diapers a day!)?

I was sick these past weeks, and these doubts especially come to my mind as I feel less capable of going places and meeting people with her. Jennifer Fulwiler wrote a post a long time ago, which I can't find, in which she was suprised to find her kids actually missed her when she was gone for a while. She felt like she was contributing so little to their lives that a robot with a red wig on the couch occasionally yelling out "stop hitting your sister!" and throwing a snack at them would be the same.

Mostly, I am dealing with outside pressure about why Addie is three and not in preschool/daycare. So when these doubts come I think, would she be happier in preschool/daycare? But then I remember, it's not about what I do, it's about who I am. I'm her mother! There are millions of inspirational videos I've seen throughout the years where kids reveal the best day of their life was when their dad played catch with them. Or something simple when their parents just spent time with them. It's special that Addie gets to be with me, even if it's during laundry or grocery shopping. And it's so special that I get to be with her. That I really know what she wants, needs, likes. It's a fascinating time for our homelife, as she is getting to an age where I can include her in more things and she can start "helping" more. I love the days we don't have to go anywhere or do anything and can do things slowly and at her pace.

Preschool

I am always feeling like I should be doing more for Addie, so I have been happy to reinstitute a little bit of "preschool" in most of our mornings. I have this How to Draw Dinosaurs book from Usborne that I thought would be for when she's older, but she really likes doing it with help. We do a page a day and sometimes another wipe-clean book of draw on the line and she's thrilled. It really helps me to have a physical book to follow. I can't deal with random ideas on pinterest that I never get to.

We also started hiking again. I still want to go Sundays, but it always seems like we have someone to visit or something to do on Sundays. So I decided we'll go on our own on Fridays too and invite our neighbors. It started out lovely (sarcasm) with Addie running away in the woods, poo in her underwear and me changing it with Davy in the baby carrier. :) :) :) But then our neighbors got there and it was really fun and really worth it. The park seems boring when you can have the forest.

Common, everyday blessings

After years... twelve years... of lamenting about not having Coldstone in Portugal I finally thought, "why don't I try making my favorite Coldstone icecream myself?" I have noooo idea why I never thought of that before. Enter: coffee icecream, caramel topping and oreo cookies. Divine. Just divine. Enough to start a blog post with.

Inspired by this post on Fountains of Home, I also got a milk frother for my hubbie for his morning coffee (never knew those existed!) and French wine for my weekly online grocery shopping.

I think I appreciate these homemade desserts because we seldom go out to eat and we appreciate these splurges because I've been trying not to buy anything extra. We've been trying to live even more simply and I've been trying to cut any extra activities.

“As the years pass, I am coming more and more to understand that it is the common, everyday blessings of our common everyday lives for which we should be particularly grateful. They are the things that fill our lives with comfort and our hearts with gladness -- just the pure air to breathe and the strength to breath it; just warmth and shelter and home folks; just plain food that gives us strength; the bright sunshine on a cold day; and a cool breeze when the day is warm.”
― Laura Ingalls Wilder, Writings to Young Women from Laura Ingalls Wilder: On Wisdom and Virtues


We've been visiting my sister more often, who just had a baby and wasn't feeling too well. I wish I had more time and less distance to spend visiting people. But it has been nice to spend that extra time with her and a huge blessing for our kids to have cousins the same age.

And Addie and Davy are getting along better. Well, by that I mean her with him. Which is relieving. It's like he'll actually be an autonomous member of our family soon... exciting. He is crawling but still likes to be held most of the time. Absolutely nothing like his sister was. Momma's boy? Yikes.

I am busy trying to check things off my to do list... as usual... never feeling like I'm getting anything done. And trying to get in more daily habits. Prayer, as always the constant struggle. Plus reading, exercising and piano playing. Not really working. Alas. Kids are cute though, right?

John Henry Newman

We have grandma visiting and it is wonderful. Everyone should have the blessing of a grandmother in their life. And every mother should have their mother close to help with kids. Or at least visit every so often. It's oh so nice.

I feel like I've had an epiphany. Sometimes I fill up with pride (the bad kind) and I realize it's because I am comparing myself to others' misery and not to God. Saints that I've been reading recently (Saint Faustina, Padre Pio) are super aware of their sinfulness because they contemplate God directly. And they are a loooooooot less sinful than me, let's just leave it at that. I, on the other hand, am not as prayerful and so I think I am such hot stuff because I'm better than Joe over there who does this and that.

Related to this, an article Auntie Leila linked to really stuck with me. John Henry Newman's tips for sanctity are exactly what I've been trying to do and completely failing at for years now. So why do I love to point out other people's errors when I have so much to work on myself? I love how these tips are simple yet really, really hard. And how they are really practical and not abstract... like be really nice and smiley and do lots of volunteer work. And I love how they are totally incarnate and have to do with our bodies and daily life... not just nice thoughts.

Here they are and it comes from this article (toward the end):

"Do not lie in bed beyond the due time of rising;

give your first thoughts to God;

make a good visit to the Blessed Sacrament;

say the Angelus devoutly;

eat and drink to God’s glory;

say the Rosary well;

be recollected; keep out bad thoughts;

make your evening meditation well;

examine yourself daily;

go to bed in good time."

A domestic monastery

This was a set up Addie's godmother had ready for her when we visted her a couple weeks ago. It was so thoughtful. I have been trying to get more visiting in, although it feels like a day's work to visit anyone for just a short while. It's the driving, I can't take it. I dream of a village where everyone I wanted to visit lived very closeby. Or at least lots of neighbor friends for kids to play with, so playdates and playgroups wouldn't feel like such hard, hard work.

Even though it takes five million years to get to someone's house and three months to get through two simple things on my to-do list, I know we are growing as a family. Usually the right kind of growth isn't immediately (or ever) visible. We are building a house on the rock and only when winds come along do you test out the foundation.

I once came across a blog called My Domestic Monastery and, even though I don't read it, I like her blog motto: "When my firstborn was a baby, I realized there was an almost monastic rhythm to our days - work, pray, play sleep." It often feels like I can't get anything "extra" in, whether that be visits, friends over for dinner, crafts, projects, errands, etc. But when all four of us are sleeping well, eating together, praying routinely and having time to play it all seems okay.

Introducing...dum dum DUM... my planner!!!

The wonderful, inspiring bloggers have at likemotherlikedaughter.org have been talking about organization and planner recently. I love this subject and am pretty OCD about organization and planners. So I thought I'd share my planner with you, which is a labor of love. And please do share how you get organized, too.

Last year was the first year I made my own planner on Microsoft Word and this year I think I finally got it right. I modeled it after Mama's Notebooks here. It took forever to make charts for each week and put in all the right holidays and liturgical dates I want to celebrate, but it is so worth it. I also type in our friends' and family's birthdays. This year it was easier to go back and just move things around, since it was done. Last year I made a big A4 size planner, but this year my A5 size is much handier. And I make one for my hubbie too, even though he is not 1/16th as excited about it as I am. I'm not even sure he uses it acually...

Anyway, I printed it all out myself this year and then got the spiral and cover done at a copy center. So worth it. Each week opens up do a chart to write what I have to do according to time of the day and meals (which I don't use much... I have a master calendar in the kichen with meals). Plus a blank page at the bottom for general notes. This is just like in Mama's Notebooks.

I was inspired by friends we visited in California to make a family schedule. And it has changed my life. So I included it as the first page in our planner. I also included a picture of Jennifer Fulwiler's pyramid, which is wonderful.  

And I have a blank page at the beginning of the planner where I keep sticky notes of more general to do lists or ideas. So they don't clog up the weekly spread.  

I just have ONE planner. That is already more than I can handle.

Finally, I just recently got this idea of organizing my "to do" papers with clothespins from this likemotherlikedaughter post here. It really is so much easier to look at papers this way, I love it. I am hoping to convince my hubbie to use this clothespin system, too. It just makes you feel better about yourself, you know? :)  

A poor wife who bakes

I read a little bit about Padre Pio on his feast day last Wednesday (I'd like to read more...) and I've been thinking about him ever since. Especially these words: "Yet despite such notoriety, he would often say, 'I only want to be a poor friar who prays.'" (from CatholicCulture)

I found these words so decisive, so in touch with his identity. I kept thinking, what do I want to be? The best I came up with was "a poor wife who bakes". It sounds kind of ridiculous, I know. And we're not really poor... at least not in the Franciscan vow of poverty way. And baking and poor in the same sentence don't make much sense.

But still. It got me thinking. I also want to be a woman of prayer... which I feel very far away from. I had a new friend (and new neighbor) visit me last week who has eight kids and a busy life, but she was one of those people that you just say, "wow, she's a woman of prayer." That quality that reminded me of this priest I know, and the nuns "monjas de Belém" that make the beautiful artwork I've talked about, plus a few other people. They emanate peace. And they pray a lot.

Who do you want to be?

Thursdays are our market day

Every Thursday we buy fruit and vegetables at the market near our house. It's something I missed at our old house... which didn't have a market, a park or anything "human" nearby. I'm terrified of the social aspect of markets: picking a stall to go to, making small talk, etc. Luckily, my husband and daughter are strong in the social department and they made friends with a couple at one of the stall. They are so sweet and call eachother "friend" even though they are married. "Hey friend, can you get a bag for this?"

Then of course we have to make the mandatory stop at the park (which is on the way) before going home. It's a good routine.

A more minimalist bookshelf... almost

This is as minimalist as I've gotten our bookshelf. I'm still not too happy with it. I'd like it to be less busy, but I haven't quite figured out what to do. Since reading The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up (it really was life changing!), I think about how to minimize things a lot more. Especially books. I printed out a quote from Anne's House of Dreams (that artwork is from Audrey Eclectic) that reflects how Id like my Bookshelf to be... each book is a friend.

Drake White - The Simple Life

Sorry for the long hiatus in my blogging activity! Married life has been really amazing, but my to-do list is endless and I feel like I am unable to get a single thing on it done. 

In search of the simple life...

I'm a fan of beer ice cold,

Of waving at my neighbor when I meet him on the road,

Of kissing my woman in the moonlight:

Yeah, I'm a fan of the simple life

Give me an old pair of boots, 

a small piece of land, 

a little old house where I can hang my hat:

I'll be a happy man, 'cause I'm a fan of the simple life. 

Makeshift table

Our fourth meal in our new house was the first eaten on a table... The table was my fiancée's creative engineering: a clothes rack with a cardboard box on it. The food was frozen pizza and my friend Sofia's wonderful salad recipe: tomato, avocado, red onion and basil. It was more romantic than any restaurant. 

When life gives you lemons...

...make lemonade. Today I was lucky enough to have lemonade with my chili. My coworker gave me organic, homegrown lemons from her sister's farm in the north of Portugal. It is so inspiring to hear there are people that leave their city jobs, move into an agricultural area and roll up their sleeves. And apparently her sister has lots of (young) friends up there also. I heard a Portuguese author, Jose Luis Peixoto, talk on TV yesterday about Portugal and I was super impressed. (I'm actually running out to buy his books) He said he thinks (old) people that live in the country and closer to nature are also closer to the essential things in life. They can't hide from them like us city folks do, things like death. They don't waste time with non-essential things.