Women and Society
Without intending to deal with all the various aspects of the vast and complex theme of the relationships between women and society, and limiting these remarks to a few essential points, one cannot but observe that in the specific area of family life a widespread social and cultural tradition has considered women's role to be exclusively that of wife and mother, without adequate access to public functions which have generally been reserved for men.
There is no doubt that the equal dignity and responsibility of men and women fully justifies women's access to public functions. On the other hand the true advancement of women requires that clear recognition be given to the value of their maternal and family role, by comparison with all other public roles and all other professions. Furthermore, these roles and professions should be harmoniously combined, if we wish the evolution of society and culture to be truly and fully human.
This will come about more easily if, in accordance with the wishes expressed by the Synod, a renewed "theology of work" can shed light upon and study in depth the meaning of work in the Christian life and determine the fundamental bond between work and the family, and therefore the original and irreplaceable meaning of work in the home and in rearing children. Therefore the Church can and should help modern society by tirelessly insisting that the work of women in the home be recognized and respected by all in its irreplaceable value. This is of particular importance in education: for possible discrimination between the different types of work and professions is eliminated at its very root once it is clear that all people, in every area, are working with equal rights and equal responsibilities. The image of God in man and in woman will thus be seen with added luster.
While it must be recognized that women have the same right as men to perform various public functions, society must be structured in such a way that wives and mothers are not in practice compelled to work outside the home, and that their families can live and prosper in a dignified way even when they themselves devote their full time to their own family.
Furthermore, the mentality which honors women more for their work outside the home than for their work within the family must be overcome. This requires that men should truly esteem and love women with total respect for their personal dignity, and that society should create and develop conditions favoring work in the home.
With due respect to the different vocations of men and women, the Church must in her own life promote as far as possible their equality of rights and dignity: and this for the good of all, the family, the Church and society.
But clearly all of this does not mean for women a renunciation of their femininity or an imitation of the male role, but the fullness of true feminine humanity which should be expressed in their activity, whether in the family or outside of it, without disregarding the differences of customs and cultures in this sphere.
This is a fun sign my sister gave me and my excellent kitchen helper, both things I'm grateful for.
I listened to the shoe shopping section of this Jennifer Fulwiler podcast and really liked what she had to say about gratitude. Gratitude isn't a list of positive things in your life: air conditioning, the sun, family members, etc. If it were so, it wouldn't make sense why some people have so many more positive things than others. Instead, gratitude means knowing you have all you need for your mission in life and being happy for that.
I have a habit of comparing my life to others, as I'm sure everyone does. It does help though when I reflect on the bigger picture, on what will happen after my death. On why I'm here on earth. And I feel grateful for God's history of salvation in the world in general, in the saints' stories I read, in my life and my past.
And then I feel a little better about my present. Grateful for my kitchen sign. And other more important things.
This is Addie wearing a sticker from the pediatrician that says "mereço muitos miminhos" (I deserve lots of cuddles/love). It's easy to give her "miminhos". Doesn't she look like a doll in this picture? She does in a lot of pictures. And in real life, too.
She is ridiculously cute, with her baby face and funny antics. When she wears her new vest and pom pom hat. When she talks to herself in the baby talk. When she acts all important for doing small things like putting a coin in the collection basket or carrying the bread home when she goes with daddy to get it in the morning.
I am still pinching myself on how we got something so precious to live in our house and tag along with us everywhere. I rationally know and respect how it is just as good for a mother to work outside the home and leave kids in daycare or whatnot... but I don't understand. I guess because I have this incredible need to see to her needs (and wants!) myself. I can't imagine any other job I would rather have than hang out with her during the day. Even if I'm also cleaning or she's playing with other kids. She really is too cute.
So even if I stress out about not doing one third of the things I'd like to do (I've been trying to get digital albums and other things done for MONTHS), I'm happy about developing friendship with her. I read a quote that your mom is your first best friend and I am so honored to be that for her right now.
This weekend the Pope will be canonizing the second couple to be saints together (after St. Anne and Joachim). They are Sts. Louis and Zélie Martin, parents of St. Thérèse of Lisieux. My husband got a day off this Friday and we started making plans to go to Rome. In typical fashion, I got waaaay ahead of myself. I decked out our prayer corner in Martin couple devotion (see above), tried to fax the Vatican to reserve tickets for the mass, was looking up good restaurants, was about to email a priest we know who is attending the synod...
And then the tickets were too expensive (even with my brother-in-law's girlfriend's mother who works for an airline trying to get us a discount) and we decided not to go. Bummer. Big, big bummer.
I get really into things and get consequently really disappointed if they don't happen. They are still an interesting couple though and great saints to get to know. It's so symbolic how the Pope is canonizing them right in the middle of the Synod for the family.
On the topic of general disappointment, I realized that I read fewer blogs now. I am down to regularly checking four. I used to read a Catholic mommy blog that shall remain nameless that started really bothering me and making me feel worried about my parenting. It is one of those blogs that gives copious amounts of "advice". Every post is a "how to" post and her kids are sooooo well-behaved.
This reminds me of an episode of the Jennifer Fulwiler show where the guest says the internet/social media is everyone who knows very little trying to tell everyone else what to do. I so agree.
I'm trying to be careful about giving advice now. I've stopped reading blogs that act like they have it all together and are going to enlighten you.
I have serious doubts most days about whether I am doing a good job as a mother, wife and general person. I panic when I think of what Addie could turn out to be (the negative options) and really try to leave it in God's hands. We are all broken, journeying towards the One who is all true and all good. We are all pilgrims on this windy path called life, full of disappointment, doubts and fragileness (and faith and light and good things too!).
Thanks long-time kindergarten connoisseur and reader of this blog (really nice of you, by the way) for the butcher paper tip. I should've helped Addie's coloring table sooner, but at least now it's a little happier, covered in butcher paper. We might have more coloring in our future now. ´
Happy weekend to you and yours!
I guess we have a wind storm headed our way coming from the States! Named Joaquin...
Happy fall! I know it's a little late but only now did I frame my pressed leaves and put them up with blu-tack.
I've been worried about friendship and our social lives for quite a while now, perhaps years. Last year I blamed trying to do too much (including my job) on not being able to meet regularly with people. As soon as I was finally "at home" a couple of months ago, I started worrying about it again, especially for Addie. Now that we were geographically further away from everyone, playgroups seemed a lot harder. I would see a mom at the park with a kid about Addie's age and wonder if I should pounce on her. Want to be my friend? Want to be my friend?
Wisely as always, my spiritual director kept telling me, "just wait. relax." And once I stopped worrying about it (and tried to trust God with it), opportunities arose. We joined a Catholic homeschooling group with kids Addie's age and interesting adults for us to socialize with (see pic above). We bumped into neighbors a block away with a girl Addie's age who invited us out to dinner (and we still haven't gotten around to going... oops!) I talked to and exchanged numbers with the mother of a girl born two days after Addie who live in our same apartment building. I was added to a whatsapp group of stay-at-home moms (even though I don't know them and feel kind of awkward talking to them...). Ah, and I joined a twice-monthly women's prayer group. Now I'm a little overwhelmed by social activities...! And our house isn't even "complete"!
This is just to say I keep learning I should really trust God with my worries and wait for his timing. Easier said than done.
Election day is Sunday here in Portugal to elect a new prime minister. Apparently it's a big deal (note my enthusiasm for Portuguese politics).
I noticed these billboards a few weeks ago for a political party called "people animals nature", featuring some smiley people, a dog, a pig and a butterly. Not just one in a rural place, but several in busy locations of central Lisbon. Their slogan is "all animals, all the same". I thought to myself, "how does this political party even have enough supporters to print this and hang it up everywhere? what a joke."
Alas, the next weekend at the beach a friend of ours... a normal, college-educated friend of ours, said he was going to vote for one of three parties, one of which was this PAN party. He was completely serious. We made an effort to also put on serious faces. Last week as I was driving home I saw three campaigners plus a dog on a leash walking around my own neighborhood with a PAN flag. Plus, it's the political party with second most "likes" on Facebook.
Last night we looked at some political parties online, one of which was PAN. One of their campaign promises is to push for "menstrual cups" in congress and educate doctors and nurses about them. So as to reduce waste. I don't know what a menstrual cup is nor do I want to know.
I have nothing more to say about Portuguese politics. Thank you.
PS My St. Therese world cake on Catholic Cuisine yesterday
I read a little bit about Padre Pio on his feast day last Wednesday (I'd like to read more...) and I've been thinking about him ever since. Especially these words: "Yet despite such notoriety, he would often say, 'I only want to be a poor friar who prays.'" (from CatholicCulture)
I found these words so decisive, so in touch with his identity. I kept thinking, what do I want to be? The best I came up with was "a poor wife who bakes". It sounds kind of ridiculous, I know. And we're not really poor... at least not in the Franciscan vow of poverty way. And baking and poor in the same sentence don't make much sense.
But still. It got me thinking. I also want to be a woman of prayer... which I feel very far away from. I had a new friend (and new neighbor) visit me last week who has eight kids and a busy life, but she was one of those people that you just say, "wow, she's a woman of prayer." That quality that reminded me of this priest I know, and the nuns "monjas de Belém" that make the beautiful artwork I've talked about, plus a few other people. They emanate peace. And they pray a lot.
Who do you want to be?
